


I Close My Eyes, I Take A Chance

by SereneSorrow



Series: That Untitled GinIchi Series [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, BLEACH Episode 24, M/M, almost canon compliant, and onward
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:48:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SereneSorrow/pseuds/SereneSorrow
Summary: Now that he has heard all three of the voices in his head (well, in his soul really), Ichigo still has a lot of work to do if he's going to rescue the woman who helped him save his family, but he has one more ally than anyone thinks.~And indeed this is now a multi-chapter story! Make sure you read 'That Untitled GinIchi Day Fic' first, because it's the actual chapter one before this story's chapter one!
Relationships: Ichimaru Gin/Kurosaki Ichigo
Series: That Untitled GinIchi Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809634
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	I Close My Eyes, I Take A Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a line from the song Crazy Maze by Des'ree, I don't usually use songs, but as you can see from the title of the previous story, I'm having a hard time naming this one, haha.

Koganehiko and Shiroganehiko practically throwing a tantrum while he strained fruitlessly to summon or collect or whatever he was supposed to do with his spirit energy was spectacularly unhelpful. It wasn't his fault that none of these clowns would explain things properly, he didn't have the first clue about what he was really supposed to be doing. Ichigo could barely feel spirit energy in the first place, let alone do anything with his own. How they expected him to just know how to do it when no one had ever taught him how was a mystery that Ichigo didn't bother wasting brain power trying to solve.

After hours of trying to figure it out himself with vague hints and tips that the Shiba guys seemed to think made perfect sense Ichigo was exhausted. It was all just a bunch of nonsense words and sound effects, and one really stupid dancing kind of thing that was supposed to get the energy moving or something weird like that. Ichigo just didn't get it, and he absolutely refused to do the dance thing, with the flailing arms and the phony chant. It was Urahara's 'Headband of Justice' all over again, and he wasn't going to fall for that 'make a fool of yourself for your teacher's amusement' gag twice.

_'Dammit! Why can't I figure this out?'_ Ichigo fumed internally, barely noticing one of Ganju's henchmen announcing dinner.

“I'll join you guys when I've figured this out, just go ahead and eat without me.” Ichigo insisted when Ishida asked.

“I should stay and practice some more too!” Orihime exclaimed over her stomach growling.

Ichigo sighed, he didn't need her pity. It wasn't like she could help him any so there was no reason for her to stay and suffer with him when she could go and eat with the others.

“Orihime, you've already figured out how to do it, you should go eat. I'll be fine here on my own.” He insisted with his back still turned to the rest of them.

He listened to their voices getting quieter as the door slid shut behind him and they moved farther down the hallway. Finally alone Ichigo relaxed the tight hold he had on his growing exhaustion. Breathing heavily and dripping sweat all over the place Ichigo stumbled to his knees, still gripping the stupid Spirit Core and staring at the floor.

One more time, he had to try again. Grabbing the Spirit Core once more he didn't bother standing up again, just shifted to sit more comfortably. On and off he'd managed to get a wavering sort of light to glow along the side of the ball but that was it, now it happened again, but the effort was too taxing. With a harsh exhale of breath Ichigo dropped the Core again and flopped back to lay on the floor, staring up at the ceiling while his body tried to cool down.

He found himself looking aside at his zanpakutō where the bandage wrapped blade rested flat against the floor beside him. He was completely wiped out but something compelled him to reach for the blade and dragging it closer to himself Ichigo laid the flat of his palm over the widest point of the blade. After a while he went back to staring blankly up at the ceiling and as his mind wandered his breathing evened out finally, letting his tense muscles relax to the point that Ichigo found it difficult to keep his eyes open.

He drifted off and opened his eyes to find himself back in the sideways city of his inner world, surprised to be back again in as many days. He was laying on a window once more and he scowled at the feeling of the frame digging into his back. He still felt worn out from all of the exertion just moments ago so levering himself up was a chore, but he managed, already wondering where the old man would be hovering this time.

Getting to his feet and slinging his blade over his shoulder Ichigo looked in every direction before starting off toward the edge of the skyscraper. He wasn't sure why he was here but Zangetsu wasn't anywhere in sight so Ichigo supposed that he would have to look for him. Having no idea where to start Ichigo simply picked a direction and started walking, trying to keep an eye out in every direction.

As he approached the next building something stopped him. The humorous chuckle that drifted through the air made an echo of that confusing shivery feeling from the first time that his blade had struck Gin's dart through his nerves again and Ichigo realized in surprise that Gin was just on the other side of that building. Breath suddenly short Ichigo sped up his pace and raced around the corner. He skidded to a stop, hands snagging on the side of the building to keep him from falling. There he was sitting against a raised ledge running up the side of the building that didn't seem to have any purpose while Shinsō knelt on the ground playing with something, his tails waving happily behind him. Ichigo couldn't spare the attention to make out what he was playing with, he had eyes only for Gin. The silver haired man was leaning forward with his hands dangling loosely between his knees as he watched the little fox playing, but he looked up when Ichigo arrived. At least Ichigo thought that he did, it was sort of hard to tell with the way the man seemed to be squinting all of the time with a perpetual grin stretching across his face.

“So we meet again, Ichigo?” The man said before the silence could grow awkward what with Ichigo's mad rush into their midst having tapered off into him just standing there and gaping at the two.

“Uh, yeah.” Ichigo stuttered unintelligently, and then felt like a fool.

“Ichigo!” Shinsō shouted suddenly, looking up and waving at him wildly from where he was playing.

“Hi, Shinsō.” Ichigo waved shakily back as he drifted closer to both of them. He really wasn't sure about how to interact with someone else's zanpakutō spirit, even if it did feel natural to talk to the boy the same way he would talk to the old man.

Something inside Ichigo's chest was desperately glad to see them both, but he had to remind himself not to forget that he had questions, and that he still didn't really know anything about who Gin really was. Unlike last time he still didn't see Zangetsu anywhere and Ichigo frowned as he came to stand beside Gin. He fidgeted nervously, unsure of where to begin until Gin leaned back on his hands to look up at him with a smirk. Ichigo tensed and colored, surprised by the way he was reacting to just a look from the other, this was his soulmate though so maybe it was normal and Ichigo just didn't understand it.

“Somethin' on yer' mind?” Gin asked him with a raised eyebrow and a tilt of his head.

Ichigo's mind was drawing a complete blank in response to the question, wondering what to ask his soulmate. He had so many questions, he was sure he did, he just couldn't seem to remember any of them all of a sudden.

“We wouldn't both be here at the same time unless one or both of us was looking for the other.” Gin said, and Ichigo realized there was probably a lot that he didn't know about how soulbonds worked between soul reapers.

It came back to him suddenly, yes, he was suspicious of Captain Ichimaru. That was it, he wanted to know the difference between the man that had frightened Jidanbo and the man that had been kind to him.

“You distracted me!” Ichigo burst out with, suddenly insistent and not letting the same thing happen again. “You hurt Jidanbo and I forgot all about what you did because-because-”

“Because our soulbond started formin'? That would distract anyone from most things.” Gin might have been frowning, Ichigo couldn't tell, it just looked like a slightly smaller smile.

“He was just doing his job! Why did you hurt him like that?” Ichigo complained, self-conscious about the whine in his own tone.

Gin got to his feet and Ichigo refused to be intimidated by the height difference, Even though Gin was almost a head taller than him. “In point of fact, he _wasn't_ doing his job or he wouldn't have let ya' in no matter what might've happened to him. In any case ya' are invaders, do ya' expect our army ta' just let ya' inside our stronghold?”

Ichigo was struck by the sense of that statement, even if he didn't like it. It was hard to think of soul reapers as an army and not as some otherworldly beings that maintained balance, kept peace and always got things right. Ichigo wondered if he was unconsciously thinking of soul reapers as some kind of cartoon superheroes or something, instead of people who were just a little different than the ones in the living world. An army in the living world would have probably arrested or killed him for trying to break in, and Jidanbo would have been in serious trouble for letting them pass, Ichigo realized. Even so, Ichigo still couldn't just get past what had happened.

“Ah, well, that's not the point! Jidanbo was scared of you the minute you showed up, but then, you were completely different to me in here. You're different now!” Ichigo half-shouted/half-stammered as Gin had closed the gap between them and was now leaning toward and over him slightly.

“Am I?” Gin asked lightly, leaning even closer over him.

“Yeah! You're... you're being nice!” Ichigo accused.

“ _Am_ I?” Gin asked, head tilted and smile back to full force again.

Ichigo thought back over the words he'd just said an realized the problem with them, accusing someone of being nice was hard to make sound like it was a bad thing. “Well you are.” He insisted stubbornly, unwilling to backtrack even though he probably sounded ridiculous.

“Not many people would think so, but can you blame me for being kinder to _you?_ ” Gin asked.

“To me? Why would you?” Ichigo asked, confused about Gin's insistent emphasis and why he would be the exception to the rule.

“Well you are important to me.” Gin said seriously, even though he still looked like he was teasing.

“Oh.” Ichigo colored, realizing what Gin was saying.

Yeah, being the man's soulmate, that would probably make a difference. He was going to have to learn to keep in mind that soulmates treated each other differently than they did other people, he just hadn't thought that he had one for so long that he'd forgotten most of what it meant to have a soulmate.

“S-still, I don't get this place! You didn't even think twice about it, and you looked like you enjoyed hurting him and Rukia's being executed just for helping me!” Ichigo said, venting more of his feelings than just the subject at hand inspired.

“Oh? Is the Kuchiki brat really that important?” Gin asked, straightening back up a bit and watching him.

_'Brat?'_ Ichigo wondered, he'd thought Rukia had said she was really old or something even though she looked about his age, but he couldn't remember now exactly what she had said about soul reaper's ages. He _had_ sort of guessed that Gin was older than her just because he looked it a bit, and here was confirmation of that, but how much older was what he now had to wonder.

“I mean, I thought, wasn't she just doing her job? Stopping Hollows from killing people? I could already see her anyway so what's the big deal? I didn't mean to take _all_ of her powers and now she's going to die just for saving us? That isn't right, I don't even have her powers anymore, and what else was she supposed to do anyway? Die and let me and my family die and let some hollow get stronger for eating us all?” Ichigo ranted for a bit, getting really worked up about the whole messed up thing.

“Hm.” Gin observed him for a while and Ichigo shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny.

“What?” Ichigo finally snapped, face coloring at his own outburst.

“You're a pretty honest kid, huh?” Gin asked with a fleeting grin that disappeared as fast as it came, his eyes opening slightly on that clear blue that Ichigo would have sworn was displaying hope and despair in equal measure though he didn't understand why.

“Wha? I- ah...” Ichigo was just surprised that he could read that much into a look from a sliver of exposed iris.

He didn't really know why Gin was giving him a look like that, or what to say to his words. Yeah, he didn't lie about things that were important, things like this. They lapsed into silence for another moment as Ichigo couldn't really think of anything to add.

“So I guess there's no way I can talk ya' out of this coming after her business?” Gin finally asked grimly.

Despite the dark tone Ichigo set his jaw stubbornly at that. “No way! I owe her for giving me the power to save my family. If she was just coming back to work or whatever, or just getting reprimanded or something then fine, but you're saying she has to die just for helping me? No way, I can't let that happen!”

“Alright.” Gin conceded with a sigh that seemed a bit like a laugh but cut off too soon to really be called that. “So, how're ya' getting in then? Ya' aren't planning to just try another gate are ya'?”

“No, Shiba Kukaku has some kind of bird canon that we're supposed to use to get in.” Ichigo explained easily, it didn't even occor to him that Gin could use the information against him.

“The Shibas? Hmm...” Gin's head tilted to the side as he stared at Ichigo.

“Yeah, we're supposed to use our spirit energy to make some kind of cannonball, so we're practicing with this Spirit Core thing but I can't do it at all.” Ichigo sighed with frustration as his thoughts returned to the practice he'd been struggling with just moments ago, completely oblivious to the way Gin had been looking so closely at his face.

“Ya' can't manipulate your own spirit energy?” Gin seemed really surprised when he asked and Ichigo glowered at the other but Gin continued before Ichigo could interrupt and made him smile without realizing. “Well there are a lot of basic exercises I could show ya' for that, I learned them at the academy.”

“Really?” Ichigo was surprised by the offer, and eager to learn, at least to see if it could help him.

“Sure. Here, we need a little more space with your potential.” Gin nudged him farther away from where Shinsō was still playing, not that the outside of a skyscraper was very cluttered.

“Alright. First the basics. Ya' need ta' know what yer own energy feels like. It helps to feel others energy if ya' can. How good are ya' at sensing?” Gin inquired in a tone that sounded a lot like the teachers Ichigo had back at school when they were trying to help someone who had fallen behind in their studies.

“Uh, I can't really, at all.” Ichigo said, embarrassed about it all over again, he still remembered some of Ishida's comments on his inability to control or sense spirit energy.

“Hmm. Well can ya' feel this?” Gin asked, and a colorful blue/white ball of energy, kind of like the Spirit Core was supposed to work but smaller and more solid instead of being empty in the middle formed around his hands.

“No.” Ichigo said immediately, but Gin shook his head.

“Try to, focus, look close an' reach out without reachin' for it with yer hands.” Gin instructed.

Ichigo frowned and stared at the bright light of his spirit energy. It was a little blinding but he didn't 'feel' anything. Scowling at his own failure again he slowly raised his hands and reached closer to the blue ball. It was warm against his hands like a fire would be, and he tried to concentrate on the feeling.

“It's kind of like a campfire I guess, warm.” Ichigo said at last, wondering if that was what Gin wanted to hear.

“Is that just what yer hands can feel or does yer soul feel it too?” The confused look on Ichigo's face was enough of an answer to Gin's question.

“Alright, well yer hands aren't really yer hands right now anyway, this is all just in yer mind, but here.” Were Gin's confusing words.

Then the ball of light engulfed his hands when Gin clasped his own around Ichigo's, and within the energy Ichigo felt that same shiver the second their hands touched. After a minute though he realized that it was a little different. The sparks were staying warm and still centered on his hands, and Ichigo felt as though he could feel more of the warmth radiating up along Gin's forearms.

“Is that it? The warm feeling around your arms?” He had to ask, though tentatively.

“Yes, focus on that until ya' can really feel it clearly.” Gin's voice said calmly.

Ichigo nodded his understanding and tried to keep a hold on the feeling, never looking away from the bright energy. He thought that he could feel it better the longer he tried, as though he was getting familiar with it. After a while Gin released his hands and let go of the visible spirit energy.

“Alright, now we'll see if ya' can feel yer own energy, just that it's there, we won't do anything with it yet.” Gin said as he stretched his arms and his sleeves rode up revealing thin but well muscled limbs, Ichigo couldn't help blushing at the sight, suddenly the shivering was for a different eason again.

Taking Ichigo's hands again Gin summoned his own spirit energy once more and then somehow used it to prod against Ichigo's own. _That_ he felt immediately, although he wasn't entirely sure how. It felt strange though, and Ichigo wrenched his thoughts away from the heat in his face and back to the lesson.

Concentrating, Ichigo eventually managed to make his own spirit energy stutter in a way, it was some kind of fluctuation at least, and Ichigo kept wrestling with the feeling until the blue/white light and faint heat around him dipped down and held for a moment. He grinned widely, panting and exhausted all over again but ecstatic that he'd managed something at least. Looking up at Gin who nodded proudly back at him in acknowledgement made Ichigo feel amazing.

“Good. So ya' know the way it feels ta' mold yer spirit energy, ya' just need ta' learn ta' get the exact amount that ya' need and craft the right shapes.” Gin explained.

The lessons continued, and Ichigo struggled more and more with trying to filter out just the right amount of spirit energy that Gin wanted him to use when practicing this shape or that one, so when the sphere finally took shape in Ichigo's hands he couldn't believe it. He only briefly managed to hold onto it before it slipped, but he had done it and he wasn't even embarrassed by the excited cheer that he let slip out at his own accomplishment. It helped that Gin looked really pleased with his success as well.

Completely worn out now Ichigo flopped down to lay beside where Gin was standing on the windows to catch his breath. He was breathing hard, chest heaving, but he didn't really notice. He was too busy looking up at Gin who was maybe grinning harder as he looked all the way down at Ichigo.

“Ya' learn fast.” Gin observed, not mentioning Ichigo's exclamation.

“How long did it take you?” Ichigo wondered aloud.

“hmm, 'bout a week ta' get that far, but we were only supposed ta' learn how ta' fully sense our own energy, the class didn't get ta' full manipulation of their spirit energy till the next semester, and everyone was supposed ta' keep studying and practicing during their free time in order ta' gain a fuller understanding of it.” Gin explained and Ichigo blinked in surprise.

He'd thought that he just had too much energy and that if he was normal he would get it the same as everyone else. He wondered if it really took everyone else that long just to learn, and not even master, it. Ichigo realized that it wasn't meant to be some kind of innate skill, Ishida had just had time to learn it properly, and someone to teach him too probably. Now he felt kind of mad, because Ishida had made it sound like he was incompetent, and it wasn't even his fault! Heck, Ishida probably could have taught him this... and if the Shiba's had explained it like Gin had then he would have gotten it ages ago.

“So you were just more studious than the rest?” Ichigo asked, prompting a brief bark of laughter from Gin.

“Well, I was considered a genius. I also happened ta' be about fifty years younger than the average student at the time.” He said, and Ichigo thought that maybe he was bragging about that, he was getting a little better at reading Gin. At least he thought so.

“Oh.” He was surprised though, his soulmate was a genius, huh. “Guess we're both special?” Ichigo offered, knowing that everyone kept saying he had an absurd amount of spirit energy and that he kept doing things that should have been impossible.

“I suppose so.” Gin agreed, laughing again.

Ichigo watched as Gin sat down right where he had been standing, next to Ichigo and then stared at him, chin propped on one hand.

“What?” Ichigo asked, just knowing that there was something behind that look.

“Have ya' told anyone yet? About meetin' yer soulmate?” Gin asked slowly.

Ichigo already had an idea where that question was leading the conversation, and answered just as slowly, worried. “No... there wasn't really a good time or way to say it.”

“Hmm. Maybe ya' shouldn't mention it yet then.” Gin suggested, just as Ichigo had thought.

Gin wanted to keep the fact that they were soulmates a secret. He just didn't know why, and it worried him a bit. It made him feel unsettled, and the fact that they were inside his inner world right now reminded him that as far as he knew there wasn't any way to prove to anyone that Gin was his soulmate anyway...

“Okay... Why?” Ichigo agreed instead of continuing that train of thought, it wasn't like he had nothing else to do but gossip about soulmates, that wasn't a topic that he had ever liked to talk about before anyway.

“Politics mostly. After all, I _am_ helpin' ya' aren't I? Can't have a bunch of rumors spreadin' that I'm not loyal to the Court Guard.” Gin explained quietly.

Ichigo hadn't really thought about it before, but since some kind of government here in soul society had decided to execute Rukia just for saving his family's life, maybe they would be mad at Gin too. If Gin was going to be in trouble just for being his soulmate then there was no way that he would let anyone find out about it until he knew more about the people in charge of things here in soul society. He needed to be sure that Gin would be safe, and he had never been open about the fact that he had thought he didn't even have a soulmate before, so keeping quiet about his own situation wouldn't even be new or difficult. The other thing was, he still didn't know much about Gin, and this was a good opportunity to find out-

Ichigo was startled when Gin nodded down at him, apparently recognizing that he was in agreement and then placed a hand on Ichigo's chest. One of Gin's fingertips had actually landed on his skin just inside the collar of his kosode and it affected him immediately. The shivery feeling was back, buzzing through his skin and making the hair on his arms and neck stand up. Ichigo blushed at the contact, and the fact that he was laying down and covered in sweat from-

Suddenly Ichigo was pulled to his feet by Gin's other hand on his arm and he stumbled against Gin, knocking his head against the taller man's chest and he was too startled to pull away from where he leaned against Gin's body. Gin's arms slipped around him and wrapped tightly over his arms, the feeling of security startled Ichigo so much that he couldn't even control the way he sank into the embrace, eyes fluttering closed for a moment as he leaned contentedly against his soulmate. He was so surprised by the hug in fact that he barely looked up in time to catch Gin's next words.

“Good luck.” Gin said, one side of his smile pulling up higher in a clearly teasing way and then with a feeling like he was being shoved away even though he was still standing in place Gin suddenly vanished, he just completely disappeared.

Gaping at the now empty space where Gin had just been standing and seeing that Shinsō too was gone Ichigo shook his head to clear it. Ichigo realized that he had been so distracted by those lessons about spirit energy manipulation and Gin's way of leading the conversation that he had completely missed his chance to demand the answers that he wanted and needed from the man about things like whether or not he actually agreed with Rukia's execution. He should have grabbed onto the man or something, tried to keep him here until he answered all of the questions that Ichigo had, but he hadn't even noticed that Gin was about to leave.

Fuming he looked around one last time, seeing that there was no sign of Gin, Shinsō or old man Zangetsu. Ichigo sighed and then gave up on the frustration he felt about his unanswered questions, instead Ichigo closed his eyes.

Opening his eyes to the practice room Ichigo immediately sat up and snatched the Spirit Core back up, focusing the way he had just practiced with Gin. It was a bit different, but he could feel his spirit energy well enough at least that he was able to correct for the change. It took a bit longer and more concentration than the others had needed but Ichigo was able to pour his spirit energy into the Spirit Core with enough stability that a sphere began to form. It felt like heavier lifting than it had been in his inner world but he managed it and was able to keep the flow steady enough for the sphere to expand to the point of surrounding him like it was supposed to.

he was so excited by his success that he shouted with wordless glee, and lost his concentration causing the sphere to dissipate again. He'd done it though, and all thanks to Gin's help. Setting the Spirit Core aside again his gaze fell on his blade, wondering again briefly why he hadn't seen the old man, but more preoccupied with what little he _had_ learned about Gin. It seemed like the man didn't really want him to go after Rukia, but he'd helped Ichigo anyway and the way he viewed hurting Jidanbo was still no good to Ichigo but it sounded like a lot of other people in soul society were the same so maybe Ichigo couldn't really hold that against him. He wasn't sure, he'd have to see what more of the soul reapers thought of Rukia's execution. If this was a normal attitude then he couldn't really be angry with Gin, although he could hope that the older man would see his own point of view and maybe change a little.

Right now though, he was starving. If he hurried maybe there would still be something left for dinner. Ichigo scrambled up and left the practice room, hoping that he wouldn't get lost on the way to wherever his friends had been taken to eat.

**Author's Note:**

> So, while I was editing this I re-read the first story, and realized that at the beginning when Gin is speaking in the real world he doesn't say -ta'- instead of -to- and such, which made me think I'd have to change this entire chapter, but then when he's in the inner world he does say things like that... so I don't remember if that was on purpose on my part or a mistake, but I've decided now that Gin's going to speak more properly in the real world, and more accented in the inner world, make it a thing like he's being more himself when he's with Ichigo... so it works out whether it was on purpose or not. -.-'
> 
> ... and annoyingly, I actually wrote most of this chapter last November and finished it in early January, but I wanted to finish one more chapter before posting it... WHICH I STILL HAVEN'T MANAGED!!! grrrrr.


End file.
